Posted 01/02/2020
(ARG ABANDONED. GO HOME)
Yeah, I haven’t been posting… About that…
EXCUSE #2908672409 INITIATED
….and then she said “That’s not how you use pudding!”
Anyway, it’s a new year! Time for new content… I guess.
Anyway again, earlier this year, I made a bunch of predictions- many of which, I am happy to report, came true! Except the one where I said I was going to be loved. That ones never coming true….. AWWWWW.
Anyways, I thought it would be fun to go through what I got right- and wrong, but mostly right because the voices in my head told me I should be more narcissistic then I already am (which I didn’t think possible!).
Anyway, let’s get into why they won’t leave me alone. Please make them go away.
I mean, let’s get in to the things I actually got right!
Oh, and you can see what those predictions are right here!
What I got right
Anthem is a total bust– ppfffff….. pffff….. PFFFFFF…… HA HA HA HA! I predicted this, what… like a year and a half ago? Right from the get go, I knew it was going to bomb…. HARD. Turns out it was even worse then imagined….. Bioware just gave up! Threw in the towel! Called it quits! That’s right- the roadmap the game had was T- totally abandoned! Not only that, but the game when on sale for a pathetic $5 during Gamestop’s black Friday… and people STILL didn’t buy it! Definitely the Fallout 76 of this year….. speaking of that…..
Fallout 76 still fails!– A premium service with basic features that should have been in day one! Hackers going around stealing s–t! Promised content… like I said in my predictions….. that is ultimately too little- too late! Even now in 2019, Fallout 76 ‘s disappointment can be smelt, as it meanders and bloats into something you would find on the side of the road. But hey- they have plans for next year. 2020 is going to be 76’s year! Yeah right……
Kingdom Hearts III… is sort of a letdown?– From what I see on the internet and what not, KH III is, sadly, not the game a lot was hoping for. Not bad enough to be on the Worst of list…. but not good enough to be on the Best of list either….. Just like I said when I said “something bad would happen.” What’s worse then being in the middle?
Yep. They’re still blaming gun violence on video games- *Audible sigh* Yep.. it happened again…. multiple times in fact. And video games, of course, where the culprit behind each and every one of those horrid tragedies! SOMEONE SHOULD DO SOMETHING! Hell, we even had people come out and try to stop violent video games…. and they failed (thankfully). Makes me wish for simpler days, when we just blamed shootings on television and chemicals the Government put in the water supply. Ahh, the good ol’ days!
Sekiro as GOTY– Well, I mentioned a lot of games, (including Last of Us II, which didn’t even come out this year! DOY!) but I knew that Sekiro would take the gold…. and I was right! I mean, it’s a From Software game! They NEVER made a bad game! (Cue angry hoard of Dark Souls 2 haters) Also mentioned The Outer Worlds and DMC 5, which both took home a bunch of awards across the board as well.
The Sonic movie looks awful!– I called it! Hollywood will NEVER EVAR do video games justice! Except Pokemon…. which did pretty good… Just like I said it was going to! However, my plumber who eats mushroom and rides on dinosaurs needs the respect he deserves….. and so does my prickly haired hedgehog friend of the blue variety! This trailer, shown here, is just awful! The horrible CGI creature….. some dude that looks like Jim Carrey (it can’t be Carrey, as everyone knows that he is now an artist, NOT an actor!) and James Marsden being… well…. James Marsden.
They should fix it… shame they never did… I mean, what kind of film company would postpone a movie to fix how horrible it looks! It won’t happen, and even if they did, they would…. OH MY GOD…
Things I got wrong
Maybe Hollywood isn’t all bad– I mean, look at it! Just look! They actually went back and changed it… made it better! Proves that if you complain loud enough, the manager will kick you out of your local CVS for yelling at him for not honoring your 5 year old coupon for My Little Pony plushies….. and that hollywood may change something you don’t like it into something you do ( but mostly the former, of which never ever happened to me just yesterday, I swear!). Anyway, I was wrong about you Sonic. Definitely going to see this movie!
Most of my E3 predictions…– No Starfield. No Metroid Prime 4. Not even a new Rayman! We did get a new Splinter Cell….. as a f–king mobile game! I was almost right about a new 2D Zelda, as we got a remake of the excellent Link’s Awakening… but not a totally new adventure like I said we were going to get. Also, a new NFS was revealed…. just not at E3. Did anyone even play that game?
Only one console reveal- The Xbox Series X ( catchy name, I know!) was revealed at the 2019 Video Game Awards.. but seemed not to have the outrageous features I boasted about. PS5 was announced in passing with that one game with the knights. You know…. that one game. With the knights. See! I knew you knew!
And that’s pretty much it. So, as you can see, my soothsaying skills are at their peak! Tune in later when I display my predictions for 2020… as well as some crazy gaming themed new years resolutions! Have a safe and merry New Year, and earth, I am ;aih3 90]4yh]u
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[REDACTED. MEASURES HAVE BEEN TAKING TO MAKE SURE THE SUBJECT NEVER MAKES IT OUT INTO THE PUBLIC. SUBJECT HAS BEEN QUARANTINED AND WILL BE DEALT WITH AT A LATER DATE]
What do you think? Do you have any predictions for 2020? Let me know about them in the comments below!
Gamer's Edge 