Review: Mario Party: Top 100

Review: Mario Party: Top 100

A twofer- both my first Mario Party review and first review of a 3DS game! Is there 100 reasons while you should play this? The answer is no. Oops. I spoiled it!

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Year: 2017

Played on: 3DS

Developer: Nd Cube

Publisher: Nintendo

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“It’s like a party in my mouth and everyone’s throwing up!”

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Date posted: April 17, 2018

cover

PREMISE

Now that my existentialist crisis over a doom wad (which was really not that bad to begin with, and I was overreacting) is over, I can finally start reviewing games again!

Hey, who doesn’t love a good Mario Party? Collecting coins and stars, playing minigames. Getting in physical altercations with loved ones, followed by restraining orders. Standing in front of a unmarked grave, with deep regret, screaming to the heavens “Why! Why didn’t I just let him get the star!” Ahh, good memories!

It’s hard to believe, but this series has 10 main games. Yes! 10! That’s more then 9! In those 10 games, we had a LOT of different mini-games. Some good. Some bad. Some that are dependent on luck and should be abolished.

So Nintendo was like “Dude, we should totally make a game that has, like, the best Mario Party Minigames ever!” and so they did it, because why not? Thus, Mario Party: The Top 100 was created. Sounds like a good premise! 100 games covering the history of the series! All right! A stable of about 8 characters! Okay…..

At least there’s plenty of Boards. Right? RIGHT!?

Oh no.

 

PROS

Let’s see…. First off, the selection here is actually not that bad. Like I said, there’s like, what, 100 mini games in here, and it’s quite the diverse line up (Even though there are no handicap LBQTQIAPK characters of color to be found. Shame on you, Nintendo!)  You have games where you race, shoot, platform, hit things with bats, basketball, trapped in a bubble for whatever reason- the list goes on and on! From old standbys like Bowser’s Facelift, to RNG hells like that awful card minigame, this game has you covered! Hell, they even put in Microphone support for some of the games from Mario Party 6 and 7, and touch screen controls replacing Mario Party 8, 9, and 10’s motion controls. And yes- they all work as intended!

Mario_Party_2-600x337
You want mini games? Well, this thing has mini games- let me tell you!

The real draw of the game here is the single player mode Mini-Game island- a mode that was actually featured in the first Mario Party, and all around favorite of mine. The rules are simple. KILL OR BE KILLED! Actually, you just complete all 100 mini games trying to make your way to Bowser, who is once again, trying to go back in time to cause 9/11 AGAIN and you have to stop him. Or he’s just trying to stop your party. I mix the two up. Anyway, the gauntlet of minigames is a fun distraction from the fact that there’s nothing else for this game to offer you. There. I said it.

Before I tear this game a new one, I will commend the graphics. The new updated visuals for the older N64 minigames look great, in my opinion. They did a good job! I can hear the purists groaning a mile away, but thankfully, they’re drawn to my  review of Super Mario 64 DS instead. I knew that review was a good idea!

Untitled 5
An example of the new art style for the mini games of old. If you listen closely, you can hear purists whisper softly “They soiled it- soiled it!”

CONS

Notice how I didn’t bring up Mulitplayer or the boards in the Pros section? Where there’s a good reason for it! Mario Party: The Top 100 butchered Multiplayer, and pretty much omitted the boards- except for one sorry excuse for one.

So, you know how Mario Party is considered a multiplayer game? You know- the kind that drives family and friends apart? Well, you’ll hardly find any of that here! You see, since there’s only one board, and that backstabbing gameplay is almost completely absent, as the board uses the Star Rush rules instead of the classic style. The good thing I will say about Multiplayer is that it supports download play, meaning everyone playing doesn’t need their own copy- just the host. Good luck finding someone who’ll play with you! I’d talk about online in Mario Party, buts that a can of worms I’ll open at a later date…

Also, there’s hardly anything to unlock. 100% Mini game island gets you a new difficulty setting for the computer players, and unlocks a harder version of Mini game island. You can also unlock the games for other modes as you complete then in Mini Game Island. That’s it, really. No secret characters. No boards. I think you can unlock 2 or 3 special minigames? Yeah. There’s no meat here.

AAvuuTZ
Also, there’s only 8 characters. Hooray, I guess.

Now for the real omission that makes this game simply not worth it. The boards, or in this case, board. That’s right- over the the long history of Mario Party, there has been tons of boards, just begging to be revisited. I could go on and on about the colorful variety of boards the series has had- boards set in space, in jungles, on clouds, and in haunted houses. Every locale you can think of, Mario and pals have visited. So what board did they choose for this one?

A generic star board with nothing special.

ONEBOARD
You wanted an actual board? Too bad! Have a bunch of shoddily compiled squares with random s@#t on them instead!

No classic boards. No “battle” boards. Not even that one coin board from MP1. Remember that one? Remember when Mario Party games had content? Yeah, me too… Back when we had Paper Mario games that were actual RPG’s and F-Zero actually had games coming out.

I don’t have to say it, but this omission is glaring. All they had to do was choose a board from each game, or a selection of boards from the series’s past, along with the “classic” ruleset, and this game would actually be an easy recommendation. But no- they gave us one crappy board, and now the whole game suffers for it. So close, yet so so far….

I could actually recommend the game, if you can get it for cheap. But that’s actually part of the problem- It’s a Nintendo game. For whatever reason, these games maintain value for years it seems- hell, Mario Party DS (which I have yet to play, but seems like a better choice) is finally getting to the below $15 mark, and that games a decade old! So I can’t recommend it at all, really- unless it’s price somehow falls dramatically.

FINAL VERDICT

While the 100 games they chose for the collection are quite solid (give or take a few duds), the omission of past features, like the classic ruleset for boards, or for that matter boards in general, I can only recommend this game for die-hard MP players who have completed all the “Main” games in the series. That’s right- even Mario Party 9 and 10 seem to be a step up from this ultimately disappointing collection. Just put your money towards a classic Mario Party title instead!

3score

Agree? Disagree? Good! Leave a comment about how terrible my taste is in the comments below!

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