Review: Puzzle Fighter (2017)

Review: Puzzle Fighter (2017)

So, you feel bad when a company ruins your favorite series? Well, how about when they ruin a series only I care about?

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Year: 2017

Played on: Android

Also on: IOS

Developer: Crapcom

Publisher: Crapcom

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YOU LOSE (Unless you pay up!)

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Date posted: December 20, 2017

puzzle-fighter-mobile-promo-logo

PREMISE

Who doesn’t love 1996’s Super Puzzle Fighter II? It was a fun puzzle game in the same vein as Puyo Puyo and the like, and was a very fun and clever twist on the falling block puzzle genre, and is one of my favorite CPS II games(CPS II being the arcade board for such late ninety Capcom arcade classics like the Street Fighter Alpha series and Marvel vs. Capcom games)

I waited a while for a sequel that never came- and as far as Puzzle Fighter 2017 is concerned, will never come. Yep, its another P2W pile of garbage. But I’m getting ahead of myself- I really am. Let’s talk about how this game fails to deliver and is ultimately a disappointment in regards to the original.

PROS

You’ll be happy to know that the game plays like the original game! You can pretty much do everything you could do in the arcade original- put 2*2 jewels together to make even bigger jewels, then use the power thingies or whatever they’re called to unleash huge combos.

You also have a lot of familiar faces from the original game, along with a lot of new characters like Frank West, a Servbot from Megaman Legends, Haggar from Final Fight, and mother f@#king Megaman X! It also features Dante from the Devil May Cry series.

So if it has a bunch of  characters you know and love, and plays like the original game, then what went so horribly wrong?

CONS

There is so much wrong with Puzzle Fighter, that I almost don’t know where to begin….

Let’s begin with the art style, as all the characters in the game don’t look “cute” like they did in the arcade original- they all look like they were beaten with an ugly stick. I mean, damn, look at what they did to poor Morrigan.

In the original puzzle fighter, she looked like this-

SPF2T_Morrigan
She looks okay for a 1000 year old loli

And comparing that to her original appearance in Darkstalkers, and her godawful appearance in Puzzle Fighter ’17.

SOILEDIT
Christ, she looks like a fan-model from someone who has no idea what there’re doing!

Then compare how she appears in Puzzle Fighter ’17 to that awful American animated adaption of Darkstalkers.

Morrigan_Aensland_(U.S._Cartoon)
This actually might be an improvement over her PF ’17 appearance!

You see? The characters look awful in this game! Everyone looks off and unsettling. Why do most of the male characters have girlish eyelashes?

So the characters look like garbage, but how does the game play? Is there multiplayer? Oh yes, there’s multiplayer- and it’s broken beyond belief!

You see, Puzzle Fighter is a free to play game, and just like many free to play games on the market, it, of course has those things that ruin any game thier in- whether is be a f2p title, or a full priced $60 release. I am of course talking about loot boxes.

Like every other f2p game on the market today, the game features cards- cards that can be leveled up. Reading this, you know exactly where i’m heading. Now, the game gives you free cards every now and then for completing challenges and what not, but you can also get a substantial amount of cards from lootboxes- which can be bought with real money. In other words-

This game is Pay To Win garbage.

That’s right- why actually play the game to earn cards when you can just spend cold hard cash on a s@#t ton of them to ensure victory? I’m pretty sure this is why the game is so imbalanced as f@#k- if you meet a player who has spent money on this game, then your s@#t out of luck- its pay or die. There is no other choice…

I mean, I guess you can try and grind for better cards, but good luck! Yet again, we are dealing with another game that only gives you things every now and then- expect a long, painful grind to even contend with higher level players.

Matchmaking just makes everything I stated above even worse- as it too is broken beyond belief. I was still in the Rookie league when I first encountered someone from silver- at least a thousand points off the mark. That’s right- the game constantly matches you with people way better then you. Now I can go all conspiracy theorist here and say Capcom is doing this so you buy more lootcrates and get better, but instead I am going to say that Capcom has no f@#king idea what they are doing and simply do not know how to matchmake for s@#t!

thumbnail
Yes, it sure is fun losing to someone that has over 1000 rank pts then me seven times in a row!

This creates a tug-o-war effect with your ranking- constantly winning matches against other f2p players who never paid a cent, then losing constantly to those who actually bought a lootbox or two. Its just no fun- why even have cards in the first place? Why couldn’t it just be like the original game, where everything was balanced, and it was a game of skill- not a game of “who spent the most on premium currency”?

Like Battlefront II 2017, it is, once again, a disheartening state of affairs, ruining what could of been a fun game with layers of unnecessary bulls@#t. The Cards, the lootboxes, the progression- what were they thinking? The game doesn’t need all this, but at the end of the day, I know why they are here- to make money. Pure and simple. Disgusting.

FINAL VERDICT

Bottom line- if you want to play this game, don’t buy anything with real money- tell Capcom where to stick it. Better yet, just download Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo HD instead- it’s actually balanced, so you’ll know that when you lose, its because you need to get better- not because you don’t have deep pockets. You can play it if you want, but your going to be in for a long, painful, and unfun climb to the top if you don’t pay!

2score

Agree? Disagree? Good! Leave a comment about how terrible my taste is in the comments below!

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