Review: Top Gear: Dare Devil

Review: Top Gear: Dare Devil

The only dare in this game is daring someone to actually play it!

============================================================================

Year: 2000

Played on: PS2

Developer: Papaya Studio

Publisher: Kemco

—————————————————————————————————————————————–

More like More Beer: So I can forget this DrivelĀ 

—————————————————————————————————————————————–

Date posted: November 5, 2017

Top_Gear_Dare_Devil_cover

PREMISE

For a astounding $2 or $3, , most used gaming stores will sell you a copy of Gran Turismo 3, a all around solid racing game you can put literally hundred of hours into. But were here not to talk about GT3, one of my favorite racing games on the PS2, but instead a pile of garbage! You see, for the same price as GT3, you could get Top Gear: DareDevil- a very early PS2 title that, in my opinion does NOT qualify as a racing game, and its hardly even a driving game!

The game is simple. Too simple. There are 4 cities- starting out small but getting somewhat bigger as you progress. “Oh boy!” You exclaim. “So its like Midnight Club! It should be descent, right?” You may ask. Sorry little Billy, but it is time to smash your oh so innocent dreams. In Top Gear: DareDevil, you race against the clock, picking up coins, and clocks to give you more time. That’s it. I am not f@$king joking. You drive around 4 different cities just collecting coins and clocks. No racing is too be had. No fun is to be had as well.

“Well, there has to be something else!” Billy says though his tears. “Some unlockables maybe?” he sniffles. Why yes, there are! You can collect all the coins in a level to unlock a new car! However, there are only 12 cars in the game. So you can unlock the best vehicle in the game by the 12th mission of 27. What do you get if you get all the coins in the levels after you collect all the cars? Here, let me show a video of what you get!

“But…but there has to be more!” Billy is perpetually drowning in puddle of his own tears now. Well, there are these keys, you see. You collect all the keys in one city, and you unlock a event where you go around smashing s@#t. Get enough points, and you get a paintjob for whatever vehicle you used. Hooray. There are also wrenches that give you credits, or lives. This system is useless, however, since, you know, you could just reload your save. Whats the f@#king point?

PROS

Is there anything here good to talk about? I guess the music is alright, I guess. The game doesn’t look horrible for a game released the same year the PS2 came out. The cities actually some variety to them, especially Tokyo and San Fransisco. Also, I have to admit that some of the later missions do have some cool parts, especially San Fransisco. Shame they weren’t used in a better game. The only good things I could think of…

maxresdefault
The game doesn’t look too bad for an early PS2 title.

CONS

Where to begin? You see, I thought I was actually getting a Midnight Club/Midtown Madness clone. Instead, I got a game where you just go around collecting coins and clocks. There is no racing to speak of- ironically, there is a multiplayer component that has racers. But singleplayer is just you doing the same god-damn thing 27 times. Its revolting. There is no variety, unless you unlock the bonus missions, which do nothing but a unlock a crappy paint job.

Dsc00016
Someone wasted precious E3 floor space to promote this pile of garbage!

You can do this very quickly too. If you ignore those stupid keys and the pointless wrenches, you can easily beat the game in at least 3 hours. 3 hours you’ll never get back.

There is no incentive to 100% the game by collecting all keys to unlock the bonus stages. All you do is go around in these and hit objects for score. Get enough score, get a paint job. They are not worth it, and you could just ignore them completely.

Finally, the controls are are as stiff as my [CENSORED] during a funeral. You have to constantly brake ever. time. you . turn. I am not joking. The controls are that bad. Add to this the fact that the fastest cars in the game move a f@#king snails pace, and you have one hell of a s@#t show. You will also find yourself running into objects that require you to reverse, breaking any and all flow to the game. Add to this that you can’t really tell what you can and cannot hit, and you have a real nightmare on your hands.

FINAL VERDICT

As you can probably guess, Top Gear: Dare Devil is a game I do not like. Even though it was released the same year as the PS2, there is really no excuse, seeing how the first Midnight Club and Ridge Racer V were launch titles, and those are much MUCH better games then this pile of s#$t. Do yourself a favor- if you want a fun racing game with multiple open-world environments, get yourself a copy of Midnight Club 2 or 3, or maybe one of the many Need For Speed games for the system, and avoid Top Gear: Dare Devil like some kind of horrible disease, even if you can get it for dirt cheap.

Now if you can excuse me, I am going to go into the real world and try to find coins and clocks, as it would be a much better use of my time.

2score

Agree? Disagree? Good! Leave a comment about how terrible my taste is in the comments below!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s