Behold! The only thing that is lesser then or equal to yourself! I know a Roots reference doesn’t belong here, but who cares? I mean, he went on to do Reading Rainbow. READING RAINBOW! Speaking of rainbows, here’s my own awful rainbow-
Pretty self-explanatory- Its cherry! Just kidding- its the worst of the worst. The worst games of all time will have this in the score-o-meter (PATENT PENDING). Avoid the same way I avoid prime time television and showers- like the plague!
Very bad- but not the worst. It probably has 1 or 2 redeeming qualities. Its a lot like me, in that regard. I still wouldn’t recommend it.
The best of all time- only masterpieces are- oh wait. No, that’s not right… 3 is for those painfully mediocre games that you usually see in bargain bins, or possibly given by your nanna as a cheap Christmas present. Like Arby’s, it is very hard to recommend unless you are stoned out of your mind.
This one’s straight down the middle. It has good qualities, and bad qualities. Only a niche group of people are going to like games with this score, similar to this blog, it is not for everyone. A perfectly “ok” game.
A game you could actually call, to quote some nameless youtube celebrity (who I hope doesn’t sue me)”hey! that’s pretty good”. Like me, it not perfect though, but it has more good than bad- unlike me.
A good game, all around. Very easy to recommend, unlike my ex-wife’s cooking. Plot twist- I don’t have an ex-wife. Another Plot twist- This blog doesn’t even exist! Spooky! Anyway, yeah, these games are must plays.
This is it. Only masterpieces like Duck Dynasty on the PS3 and Home Improvement on the Super Nintendo can get this score. Flawless games only- in fact, all 6 of the other scores are GARBAGE compared to this score. I give it a 7 out of 7!
So there it is. My terrible score system! I give a 3 stars out of 10 thumbs up.
Wait. What do you mean I’m missing 8-10. Look buddy, this is MY money laundering scem- uh, I mean random video game blog. If think its bad, just go tell the FBI to take down this blog and to go look into the basement for- oh no I said too much! How do I delete this post? Oh no. Well, I guess that’s life! (Freezes on goofy pose as audience laughs and credits roll)