My Awful Scoring System!

My Awful Scoring System!

Behold! The only thing that is lesser then or equal to yourself! I know a Roots reference doesn’t belong here, but who cares? I mean, he went on to do Reading Rainbow. READING RAINBOW! Speaking of rainbows, here’s my own awful rainbow-

1 Pretty self-explanatory- Its cherry! Just kidding- its the worst of the worst. The worst games of all time will have this in the score-o-meter (PATENT PENDING). Avoid the same way I avoid prime time television and showers- like the plague!

2 Very bad- but not the worst. It probably has 1 or 2 redeeming qualities. Its a lot like me, in that regard. I still wouldn’t recommend it.

3 The best of all time- only masterpieces are- oh wait. No, that’s not right… 3 is for those painfully mediocre games that you usually see in bargain bins, or possibly given by your nanna as a cheap Christmas present. Like Arby’s, it is very hard to recommend unless you are stoned out of your mind.

4 This one’s straight down the middle. It has good qualities, and bad qualities. Only a niche group of people are going to like games with this score, similar to this blog, it is not for everyone. A perfectly “ok” game.

5 A game you could actually call, to quote some nameless youtube celebrity (who I hope doesn’t sue me)”hey! that’s pretty good”. Like me, it not perfect though, but it has more good than bad- unlike me.

6 A good game, all around. Very easy to recommend, unlike my ex-wife’s cooking. Plot twist- I don’t have an ex-wife. Another Plot twist- This blog doesn’t even exist! Spooky! Anyway, yeah, these games are must plays.

7 This is it. Only masterpieces like Duck Dynasty on the PS3 and Home Improvement on the Super Nintendo can get this score. Flawless games only- in fact, all 6 of the other scores are GARBAGE compared to this score. I give it a 7 out of 7!

So there it is. My terrible score system! I give a 3 stars out of 10 thumbs up.

Wait. What do you mean I’m missing 8-10. Look buddy, this is MY money laundering scem- uh, I mean random video game blog. If think its bad, just go tell the FBI to take down this blog and to go look into the basement for- oh no I said too much! How do I delete this post? Oh no. Well, I guess that’s life! (Freezes on goofy pose as audience laughs and credits roll)

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